It’s strange how people say they grow out of Autism/Asperger’s because I still know I have Asperger’s.
I think I know why, too.
I learned about this disorder late into my middle school years, and knowing the differences between now, then and when I was in elementary, the only thing I knew that change of me was the way I acted towards others.
In elementary, I was very sociable, freely spoke my mind, and was unafraid of getting other kids in trouble for breaking rules, as well as try and befriend them.
In middle school, I began to grow quiet, was bitter towards everyone, and felt more lonely (Though I did gain more friends). I tried my hardest to correct my classmates behavior, but it just started feeling like a hopeless task.
Now, I feel more positive, though I try my best to hold my tongue on certain subjects and what not. But with how my life went, I think I ended up developing a social anxiety of sorts. I don’t know what anyone is thinking. It always feels like the friends I’ve made over the years are almost too good to be true. That they might end up leaving me.
But that was only me socially. My personality, more or less, stayed the same.
I’m in a constant awkward teen phase. I obsessed over things like Kid Icarus, Pokemon, Sonic, and Happy Feet (I think my phases are marked with each new obsession). I freeze up at situations or changes that overwhelm me. I repeat phrases over and over again. I just want to be a hero to someone.
Really, Autism isn’t just some part of the brain that could be separated and you could still be you. Autism is you.
You can’t grow out of it. You only learn how to adapt.